Ten Dollars
by karly05
Summary: Ferb's in a Mood. Vanessa makes tuna casserole. And we find out what's been going on with Phineas and Isabella. Follows "On the Edge of an Unspoiled Universe" and relates back to "A Swift Kick in the Pants." Follows my established arcs/timeline, so it doesn't match up with the canon of the final episodes; call it an Alternate Timeline if that helps.


**A/N: This takes place a few weeks after "On the Edge of an Unspoiled Universe" and involves some things in my head-canon that I wanted to get out on paper. As usual, you may pick up on callbacks to my other stories – most importantly in this case, "A Swift Kick in the Pants."**

 **It is important to note – I've had futures planned out for the P &F characters since long before "Act Your Age" (or any other late-series episodes), and it is no comment against where the series ended up going that I've decided to stick with my own established story arcs and timeline. So, no, Isabella and Phineas are not going to Tri-State State University in my P&F-verse. **

**You know the drill: characters have been appropriated from Dan & Swampy.**

Ten Dollars

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz snatched up the gray wool coat from the armchair and knocked the snow off of it before it got the cushions wet. "I hope you wiped your feet," she called in the direction of the bedroom. _Ugh, I hate it when I sound like 'mom.'_

No answer. Well, she wasn't really expecting one. Ferb was in a Mood. They weren't often obvious to anyone else, but after two and a half years of living with him, Vanessa was learning them all by heart. Stressed Over School was the easy one; she had been there, done that, and knew he'd come through it with peace and quiet and some breathing room. Worried or Feeling Blue? A patient ear and some Italian meatball casserole would work wonders. Mildly Irked over Something Trivial? A backrub did the trick. Frankly, the backrub cured a myriad of ills where Ferb was concerned. But this was the big one. Some cataclysm had disrupted the cosmos, and Ferb's Nose was Out of Joint. The silence was an entirely different silence than the Ferb silence she was used to. This was an ominous silence, one that suggested, _If I open my mouth, I'm going to scream._ Sometimes, Vanessa almost wished Ferb would have a raging meltdown, because she couldn't even imagine what it would be like. Besides, it might be good for him.

This Nose Out of Joint Mood had started sometime yesterday and was alread tiresome. Ferb had been like this only once before to her knowledge; the Mood had gone on for most of three days before he'd grudgingly begun to come out of it. And that time, at least she had known from the start what was bothering him. This one was a complete mystery.

 _Well, let him sulk_ , she decided. It wasn't as if she had much choice in the matter. It was dinnertime, and Vanessa went to the kitchen, getting down the glass baking dish, setting a pot of water to boil, gathering canned goods from the cupboard. No Italian meatballs and cheese tonight; she had downloaded a new tuna casserole recipe involving condensed milk and buttery French bread crumbs and she wanted to try it. She'd might as well have had the house to herself as she boiled and broiled and chopped and cooked and the savory aroma filled the bungalow. She wondered if Ferb could smell it. When the timer went off and the dish emerged from the oven, she left it on the stovetop to cool for a minute and went to the hall. The bedroom was empty, and the door to the study was closed. She gave a short knock and said, "Dinner's ready." No answer, of course. _Oh, well, he'll come out when he's hungry,_ she thought, then chided herself, _You sound like 'mom' again_.

The tuna casserole was good, thought Vanessa, taking a taste from the pan before she dished up a plate for herself and took it to the tiny kitchen table. _The condensed milk really makes this_. She poured herself a glass of water with lemon from the pitcher in the fridge and sat down to eat. After a few minutes, she heard the door to the study open, then Ferb appeared in the kitchen doorway. He looked at the dish on the stove and Vanessa translated his still expression as one of bittersweet nostalgia. Without a word, she laid down her fork and got up to take a clean plate from the cupboard and scoop a mound of tuna casserole onto it. She filled a tumbler with ice and lemon water and took a fork from the drawer, and placed them all, plate, glass and fork, in front of the chair opposite hers, then sat back down to her own dinner and resumed eating as if nothing had happened. Ferb, not moving from the doorway, watched all of this without meeting her eyes, then, after a few seconds of consideration, walked over and sat down at his place. He took a taste of the casserole, and then another, and then he took a long drink of water followed by a heaping forkful of tuna and noodles. He swallowed the last of this mouthful and pondered his plate for a moment, then got up from the table and walked out of the kitchen.

 _Oh, come on, it's not_ _that_ _bad_ , huffed some little voice in Vanessaland, but Ferb had given no indication that he disliked the casserole and frankly, she felt that under the circumstances, getting him to eat three whole bites of dinner was a small triumph. Within less than a minute, he came back into the kitchen with something in his hand. It was a ten dollar bill, and he actually looked her in the face this time as he plunked it down beside her plate, then resumed his seat and began shoveling in tuna casserole as if he hadn't eaten in a week.

On a better day, Vanessa would have cracked some joke like, _You don't have to tip the waitress_ , but the Mood was still hanging over him and anything she said would just be wasted breath. The ten dollar bill only confused her, however, as she picked it up in her fingers and examined first it then him with a curious look.

Two words came out of his mouth. Far from screaming, he uttered them in that perfectly calm Ferb tone. "You won."

"Ten dollars?"

"The bet. You were right." He scarfed down another mouthful of noodles before he said, with a drily disgruntled inflection, "Congratulations."

Vanessa huffed out an exasperated sigh. She didn't mind indulging him up to a point, but this game had gone far enough. "Okay," she informed him, "you had better tell me what's wrong, because I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Ferb chucked down his fork and threw himself back in the chair and brusquely barked, "Phineas dropped out!"

Vanessa had not seen this coming. "From college?"

"Yes, from college!" he snapped, before the words were even out of her mouth. "He's moving to Alamogordo." Ferb pronounced the name of the town as if it were synonymous with the Ninth Circle of Hell.

Vanessa tried to sound soothing and sympathetic when she responded, "I know it's not Gulf Coast Polytechnic, but I'm sure he can transfer his credits to Southern New Mexico and finish his degree there…"

"What degree?" Ferb demanded. "He's _dropped out._ " As if she hadn't heard him the first time. Getting up from the chair, Ferb paced the kitchen, pushing one hand into his hair and closing his eyes. "I know, it's not my life, it's not my problem." He said this as if it was some mantra he'd been repeating for hours. "And I know, he's married now, of course he wants to be with Isabella; it was inevitable, I suppose."

This finally triggered Vanessa's memory. When Ferb had told her a year ago that Phineas and Isabella were getting married, she probably had said something about betting that one of them would move to be with the other. _Ten bucks says…_

"But if they had to do it, why couldn't _she_ move?" This was Ferb, still pacing around the confines of the kitchen. Vanessa was trying to think of something helpful to say, but there was no need. He was doing all the talking, more to himself than to her. It was if all the voices in Ferbland were having an internal discussion and she was eavesdropping on it. "It's not as if there's anything unique about Southern New Mexico University." He stopped in his tracks and held up a hand, as another Ferbland voice intervened in defense. "That's not fair; she's getting a free ride because her great-grandfather went there. You can't expect her to give that up. And Phineas _could_ study there if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to." Ferb finally looked at Vanessa and said, in a voice of childlike disappointment, "Phineas doesn't want to go to college." With the wind all gone out of his sails, Ferb made his way back to the chair and sat down again.

"When did this happen?" asked Vanessa. They had all been together for New Year's, hardly more than a month ago, and neither Phineas nor Isabella had even hinted at such a plan.

"He called me yesterday. Apparently they've been discussing it since Thanksgiving, but it wasn't final until he went back after the holidays. He says it was his idea."

"Maybe it's only temporary," Vanessa said encouragingly. "In a couple of years, when Isabella's done, they'll move back to Florida and he'll finish his degree…"

"He says he doesn't need a degree." Ferb's voice was quiet now. "Maybe he's right. He is a genius, you know. He's already beyond them when it comes to technology. They're telling him things he already knows."

Ackerton State was telling Ferb things he already knew, thought Vanessa, and he was every bit the genius his brother was, even if he didn't want to hear it. But, then, Ferb always had harbored a fondness for academia.

Now he gave a long, thoughtful sigh, and she felt as if she was eavesdropping on Ferbland again. "It just came as such a shock. He's a grown man, he can make his own decisions. And I know we're still close; we always will be. But it isn't the same as it was when we were young." Another long sigh, and he raised his eyes to Vanessa's with a sheepish look and a rueful attempt at a smile that let her know the Mood had been dispelled. "Life was so much simpler when we were ten."

THE END

 **A/N – I wanted to do this because I never managed to address in "Unspoiled Universe" where Phineas and Isabella were/are living and going to school. Maybe I'm out of character here, but I've long pondered the idea of Phineas as one of these brilliant Tech Titans who'd rather be inventing things (and revolutionizing the world with them) than spinning his wheels in a bunch of college courses. And having written this, I'm kind of wishing I could just resolve all the plot points I have still hanging undone by just having Ferb and Vanessa talk about them, but no, I'm not doing that. Bonus points to anyone who spotted the reference to a line from the episode, "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers." Oh, and by the way, the tuna casserole may seem trivial – but it's going to reappear.**


End file.
